Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
