i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
