brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Your penis caused this!
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