My Higher Power is John Stamos
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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