There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
