Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
