This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize