Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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