Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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