Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize