Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
