what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was confusing and full of hummus
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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