He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
