If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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