We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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