I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
