I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
