walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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