i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
