Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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