He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
