I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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