Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
