R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
