It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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