Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
