So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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