let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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