Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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