I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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