So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
