He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
