The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
