i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
