He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
