YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
