I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
