Me. At least after what I've been through.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
NoShamevember. You game?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
