You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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