he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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