How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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