Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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