YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
