Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize