I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
