As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
