If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think people are normalizing furries
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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