ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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