I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
