i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
