Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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