Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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