I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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