Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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