therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
