Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
