i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize