I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize