And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
