What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
