Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
