We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
