non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
